Mar. 7th, 2008

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Karen informed me today that her doctor at Crittenton not only thinks she is pretending to be sick but also wants her to be put either in a nursing home or assisted living or some kind of government home to be watched over. I'm so very angry right now. I already had emailed a complaint about this doctor to the hospital with perhaps a little colorful language but oh well at least it shows an honest portrayal of how I feel about the matter.

I feel a bit conflicted about this whole mess. On one hand it is so scary to see just how crazy she is capable of getting and I can understand why someone would not want her to be on her own. However I know Karen better and know that on average she is capable of taking care of herself fairly reasonably. Perhaps not perfect but I think my checking once a day should be enough to keep that in check. I know that if Karen was forced to move into a home of some sort it would kill her. She would lose her will to live and I'm certain that is the only reason she is still on this plane. The only thing she clings to right now for any sense of peace and happiness is that she has her own place to do with as she pleases. She is dependent on her parents and me but still it is a nice illusion and it would break her heart to lose it.

I told her that if it took my moving in to keep her from being forced to live in one of those awful places against her will I would do so. But I also mentioned I preferred to have my own place. Living with her again would be its own type of hell. I do care for her but I was so glad to be out of that situation. So this is such a big mess. Talking with that doctor after he read my venom will be....interesting.

To top off all this pleasantness my own lupus decided to activate on Tuesday and has been gradually getting worse. I had to stay home today because the dizziness and nausea were making me that miserable. I could not even drive. I'm ready for a bit of happiness now. I've had quite enough misery, thank you.

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cosette_valjean

August 2009

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