(no subject)

[cosette_valjean]

Ash, lava, ash.
In my heart are
flames or smears.
Why does my heart,
Nay my very mind
Betray me?

Against my best efforts
To be suave and calm
To be sharp and sure,
I floated away in a cloud
Higher, ever higher.
Far too high.

Shattered.
Too many sharp tiny pieces
Lie scattered tattered
By the wind of my emotions.
I have no motivation to
Ever put them together again.

So what is left?
I do not know.
I can not know.
I know nothing.
Anger and shame
Dance devils in flame.

The hall I walk was
Once silver with moonlight
With beauty and magic
Floating on the night air.
My heart soared in flight,
Eventually I had to fall.

Now I traverse a hall
That feels like a circus
With lit plastic clowns
Laughing and pointing
At the biggest clown of all.
Half-asleep she peddles her unicycle.

I saw this coming
Long, long ago.
And yet I played my part
Just like I had not known.
I did try, oh how I tried.
But happen it must.

I carefully shaped it,
The dagger, and placed it
Tightly in his hand.
Then I jumped up and said
"Right here. Stab me right here."
He complied.

Cursed is she who flies
She who sees too much.
She who feels too much.
For she knows nothing and
She must pay;
Pay she does.

Day follows empty day.
No more magic
No more clouds
No more flying
No more falling
Not from such heights.

I dig in the dirt
Perchance to find sustenance
In the awkward love of two
Broken people grasping
Each other to their
Aching hearts.


FYI - I don't want to explain about the origin of this poem. It's merely self-expression. Thanks.